When I decided to become a yoga teacher, I underestimated how difficult it would be to run my own yoga business. I teach a variety of group classes, private lessons, lead retreats, and teach workshops to try and earn a good enough living to help support my family, but after 5 years- I am a tad tired. That isn’t to say teaching full time can’t be done. I know of a lot people who do it and are successful, but if you ask them if it is easy, they will tell you no. My joy of teaching is compromised with how much driving I do to get to a studio to teach a class or to a client’s home to teach a private lesson. My own yoga practice was my inspiration to become a teacher and it suffers because of how much I teach, and hours spent building my business. I’ve realized that balancing it all has been the most difficult, and what needs to change. This is not to say I want to stop teaching, because I do love it, and will continue to do it, and when I see the progress someone makes in their practice it brings me true happiness but I also know that I need to reevaluate. A few months ago, I was co-leading a women’s retreat, and we practiced a writing exercise of asking tough questions but answering them with the first thing that came to mind. One of the questions was “Do you have any regrets in your life?” For me; I regretted not finishing college. Self-doubt is a bitch. When I dropped out of college, I told myself I wasn’t a good student or I just wasn’t smart enough. Until today. When I went through my YTT I cried after my first training weekend and experienced the same self-doubt when I went to college. I feared I would fail, and I wasn’t good enough to be a yoga teacher. The difference between the two were that I was a bit older, and I understood that fear is an illusion that held me back from the dreams I wanted to create for myself. So, I kept going & I became a certified yoga teacher. I can say this illusion of fear is my driving factor to believe in myself more and to work a little bit harder and to finally go back to college. I follow my heart on most days which is driven by love, so why would I give up on that now? Yoga teaches us to embrace each moment and stay present but it also teaches us to take action in our lives. I encourage all of you to do the same. If you’re feeling unsatisfied in your career or your life, ask yourself questions and reevaluate. C. Joy Bell C. says- “Don't be afraid of your fears. They're not there to scare you. They're there to let you know that something is worth it." Over the past several months, I have seen so many different opinions in regards to our presidential election. Some great, some not so great but what I said to myself after reading every op-ed article, Facebook post or comment on a social media website is- your feelings are valid. See, that’s the thing about feelings- we have them. There are 8 basic human emotions that we experience-joy, trust, fear, surprise, sadness, disgust, anger and anticipation. There is some significant evidence to back this up, and I am sure you have experienced each one of these emotions. So imagine with me for a moment a time when you felt joyful, and then imagine a time when you felt sad. We all experience emotions and not at the same time. I think as humans that is where we find disconnect. When I experience joy, you could be experiencing sadness. What is important to remember is just because I am joyful and you are sad it doesn’t make your human experience wrong or less than mine. So if you stay in the present moment, take a breath(or maybe a few) and realize that we are all human that have emotions, you can find basic goodness, and understanding that there is good in all of us and your feelings and mine alike are valid. Every year I decide that I am going to participate in a 30 day challenge per no ones request but my own. For example in previous years I went vegetarian for 30 days, I have done 30 days of yoga. The list goes on and I am sure you get the point. I have never went vegan before & quite honestly, I love eating meat and was a little judgmental on people who are. I didn’t tell anyone about this besides my husband and a few close friends. Because honestly, I didn’t want the judgment. Over the years, I became more intrigued on ways I could reduce my carbon foot print and how the effects of factory farming, and just overall the inhumane ways animals die so that we can eat them. So August 1st, 2016 I went vegan. Now you might think that is a little extreme but like I said, I like a challenge. The first few days were a breeze. My family and I usually go a couple of times a week without eating meat so I was feeling like this was going to be easier than I thought. But by the end of the first week, I was feeling frustrated, not sure what to eat and how I was going to keep this going for the rest of the month. My mood was fluctuating so much that my husband suggested that maybe I should reconsider my decision. By week two I started to get more creative with the my recipes. Pinterest became my best friend. That being said, I also started to feel that being a vegan was eating a bunch of side dishes made into a meal. Although, I did feel like I was settling into a groove by week two and my mood started to even out. By week three, I was feeling pretty good. I wasn't experiencing a huge shift in my weight or anything like that but I was feeling less bloated, my mood was great, and I thought that maybe this could become a way of life for me. Until I got my period and was craving a huge cheeseburger and not a black bean veggie burger but a ground beef medium rare burger maybe even with a fried egg on top and some bacon because well you know that time of month. This is when I started to question whether or not I could continue with this way of life or if I would start eating meat again when this whole thing was over. Week four and close to the finish line I started getting excited that I was going to make it through 30 days without eating meat, dairy or eggs. I wasn’t craving them, and that started to scare me. I felt confused about what I would eat when all of this was over. Luckily for me I was a huge vegetable eater before I took this challenge so I wasn’t worried about what that would like. I was worried on whether I would be able to get my protein from vegetables, beans, and legumes alone. Because in my opinion it became boring at times. Look, I am not trying to sound or be negative around anyone that is vegan. I think that it is very brave and an amazing discipline to have in a world where we are heavily influenced by so many different things. After completing this thirty day challenge here is what I know- I like to put myself through challenges to know that change is constant. It helps me handle difficult situations when they arise. This, believe it or not helps me with that. Also, I feel good about reducing my carbon footprint. Global warming is a real thing and by decreasing or not eating meat you are reducing carbon emissions more than you would if you gave up driving your car. I found that this is a way of life and not a diet. There are so many different reasons I could list but don’t have enough lines in this blog to do so. But I am sure if you google it you will see many many reasons why. This is a personal choice that should not be judged by anyone because at the end of the day we are responsible for our choices and actions and that is what matters most. Money- I don’t like to talk about it, but I do like to spend it. That is an interesting parallel, isn’t it? For as long as I remember, money wasn’t really discussed in my family. Either we had it or we didn’t. I grew up in a middle-class household with divorced parents. I spent most of the time with my mom and the weekends with my dad. My mom struggled a lot when I was growing up, living paycheck to paycheck sometimes not knowing how we were going to pay rent. That being said, I do know that there wasn’t much saving that was going on either, and I think that my mom would admit she wasn’t the best with money. I think that goes back to when she was a child and she and her siblings grew up rather poor with my grandmother, who was also a single mom. There might be a pattern here? I think that my story isn’t that different from millions of others. But how do we break the cycle and start getting honest about money - how we spend it and how to secure it? I think the first step is to talk about it – although I will be the first to admit this is really hard for me because there is fear that comes up around it, like I am doing something wrong or irresponsible. But if I think about yoga and the practice of staying present I can set a better intention of having clear discussions around money. While this may be helpful, I know that I am not as mindful at times when I walk into Target to buy laundry detergent and come out with way more than I needed to. I am sure all of you can relate. My husband and I just had a long discussion about money and our spending and while I immediately wanted to run and hide, I stayed even though it made me feel uncomfortable. We know that having intentional dialogue with each other helps keep us in check and we feel better about our marriage and the topic of money when we do. I also think there is a lot of stigma around money and social class. We think that if we have a lot of it, we are perceived to be happier when I know this is not the case. It is not how much money we have but how we spend it that determines our self worth. It is being mindful about where our money is being spent and knowing it feels good to go without at times because then you value your relationships a lot more and see it’s not “all about money.” You can shift your focus to the people and surroundings that matter to you and shift your attention in a way that creates more meaningful experiences. We have the power to change our outlook about money. We can choose to be happy based on how much our net worth is, or we can have open discussions around our fears, talk to our partners and friends who can help us save for that new pair of shoes, or putting a down payment on a house. It is practicing the important of staying present and using our will power to keep us in check. Money is not what it is all cracked up to be because – let’s face it – when we leave this earth, we can’t take it with us. |
About TiffanyTiffany (RYT 200®) is a student and teacher of yoga living in Baltimore, Maryland. Archives
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